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Thursday, October 23, 2014

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

do you believe in signs?

I just came back from a long beach walk.
I've been inside all day since my morning yoga practice ended because the rain had been pouring until a couple of hours ago; so of course, I went to the beach.
If you've read my latest posts, you probably know that I'm no longer feeling like I want to be here; I'm always sad about my love life, depressed about not knowing who I am or what I want to be; basically I just don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do with my life.

I went outside with the intention to think.
Think about what I want, what I need, what I dream of... but most importantly, to meditate about the idea of leaving beautiful Playa del Carmen.
As I walked from "Shangri-la" beach to "Mamitas"; I found a sand sculpture. There was no one around; I don't know who did it and I've never ever encountered anything like this in the 2 years I've been living here.
I found a mermaid made of sand, holding super tight to the land. I can almost see her with eyes closed, even some tears. I stared at it for 5 minutes; I felt something.

I'm obsessed with mermaids, I "consider" myself one; I know, it's silly, but I do, I have been super connected to this mythological creature my entire life. My friends call me "sirena" (which means mermaid), and I draw them all the time, and well.... all that jazz... I dig them. So of course, I felt that this sand sculpture was meant for me to see.

Is it a sign?
Is she holding so tight to the land because she doesn't want to let go?
I think I found my answer.
I think I need to stay here a bit longer... for some reason, I just felt it all over my body; I have to stay. Something's coming, something's going to happen here if I stay... she's telling me to hold on, to be patient, to wait... here.

Do you believe in signs?

Monday, October 20, 2014

drawing room: sundays

what is it about Sundays that I always feel depressed?

Saturday, October 18, 2014

sunny side up

I need my vitamin sea... I need it almost daily.
I've realized that, without it... I wouldn't be able to hold myself,
I wouldn't be able to put myself together so easily.

And all though I love the sun, the sand, the beach...
this place... is starting to get old on me,
maybe it is the people (insane tourism!),
maybe it is the vibe,
maybe it is me, as it usually is...
I'm not a stranger anymore,
I've made friends here, lots of them,
my life has turned into a routine again,
I've become "known" again,
I'm expected to attend meetings or birthdays or random dinner dates with friends...
I don't like commitment or social life that much,
I liked being a lonely soul like when I first got here...
and though I cherish my new friends here (I could call them family),
I'm starting to feel trapped again,
I'm no longer alone, and that scares me, actually,
it suffocates me...
I don't like people to expect things from me.
I like to be on my own....

I think I need a new place to call home,
I need a new adventure,
I need a new country to explore,
I need a new language to learn,
I need a new crowd.

I love the Caribbean,
Playa del Carmen and Tulum have been wonderful to me...
but I'm thinking it is time to move on...
I'm thinking Hawai, Bali, India, Tanger....
as long as there is sun, sand and beach, I'll be fine,
I'll be fine in deed.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

drawing room: drowning

she is exactly where she wants to be... drowning.

(this drawing was meant for this post)

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Monday, October 6, 2014

Starbucks doodle: moon girl

This is a special request.
Mon ika from You Get The Picture blog, suggested my next Starbucks doodle was something space-related: galactic, stars and the moon and planets... a cosmic girl, perhaps.. well, I drew the little moon girl.
Hope you like it!


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